Where Does One’s Joy End and The Other’s Begin?
May 18, 2010
My son Gus and I were fishing, wading the flats in Belize. In one shallow spot, we watched a large school of bonefish cruise the pool in front of us. The rhythm of the collective movement was extraordinary. Gus explained, "The fish have lateral lines running the length of their body. They can sense the movement of fish, even behind them." A shared joy as one in front finds a particularly tasty shrimp. Panic as we watch a 6 foot barracuda, the predator of the rest, strike from behind.
And so it is in our human community. When someone sings, our heart soars. When a child is hungry, or suffering from drinking water with arsenic, or out of touch with a father working thousands of miles away through lack of cell connection, our spirit suffers.
There is a purpose to this pain. Grief can create awareness, the first step towards using our gifts in the service of others. If we choose to be open, the opportunity will come to be useful. And so the world is not divided into buckets of joy and pain, but pain is a stepping stone towards clarity, composure, compassion - life giving compassion.
Exhaustion makes cowards of us all. Vince Lombardi. - Pay attention to your emotions, and take time to rest and be nourished. When we sleep, our brain spends time in Alpha mode, the brainwaves of a 4 year old or an artist, where anything is possible. Carl Jung teaches us we have a shared unconscious, a way of giving and receiving through the ether that is unbounded by time or space. Ever go to sleep with a knotty problem, seemingly hopeless, only to awake with an inkling, a simplicity that in your gut you feel "this just might work!"? Could this be your community conspiring in your success? Is there a shared subconscious, a collective soul? Sleep can give us that openness, the courage to believe outrageously that we are powerful.
Some believe, myself included, that it is a spiritual connection, a form of our calling or purpose, grace. The power of this connection is abundant, limitless, caring for self and others, rooted in joy. Great need cries out for dedicated acts of service, the discipline of imagination and purposeful daily acts. If we can keep that centeredness through our day, the fears that come our way need not cripple us, we can recognize them, work through them, offer our abundant gifts in the service of others, and thus feed our souls and bring ourselves joy. We are all worthy. The question is, are we ready? If not, what can I do to make myself ready? Today? This moment? We may freely choose. Even in pain, we can choose to be hopeful, to know a time will come when the mystery of the pain is revealed.
I have a picture by my sink of 5 Indian children. It is taken in an affordable private school in Hyderabad, and the faces of the kids are filled with glee.
As I write this I'm in Hyderabad, up early to visit these schools, to be with folks I work with to finance classrooms, to understand the roots of a quality education, and to deliver that at a price families can afford. I know my purpose this day, and that brings me joy.
- Adrienne Villani's blog
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